


Time After Time

by closette



Category: Free!
Genre: Character Study, Fluff and a little bit of feels, Gen, M/M, drabble?, instrospection during a blackout
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-24
Updated: 2016-10-24
Packaged: 2018-08-24 11:05:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8369854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/closette/pseuds/closette
Summary: It's because when I say, go slow, you fall behind.





	

Haru knows he's a difficult person.

If people are in an unforgiving mood, they'll probably call him 'selfish'. If they're having a good day, they'll call him 'independent'.

Contrary to popular belief that he's not aware of how difficult he is, Haru is actually incredibly self-aware. To be able to function in society while being as indifferent as Haru is without getting into trouble requires him to be so. He needs to always weigh the cost of flouting normally accepted conventions versus the benefit of doing what he wants to do, which makes it important to know how much he wants to do the thing.

Of course, no matter how willful he is, he always makes an effort to keep his actions within the bounds just shy of being scandalous. And no matter what, he will never do something that's outright wrong; his parents raised a strong-willed, independent, self-sustaining man - not a reckless degenerate.

The incidents with the stripping, water tanks, and fountains though, that will take time to grow out of.

\------

During one of those pointless conversations that high schoolers have where they ask each other "if you were *something*, what would you be?", and he was asked what plant he is and why, he wanted to answer that he feels like a cactus sometimes.

With enough nourishment, sunshine, and water, he can flourish perfectly fine on his own. The analogy is perfect because he's also prickly and also made up of approximately 90% water.

He sometimes wonders, with how selfish he is, why he still has friends. And the friends he does have aren't even run-off-the-mill, casual acquaintances. They're the type that would drop everything at whatever time, and go to any place that he is at, if he really, really needs them.

He sometimes wonders, when he's alone in the tub and he lets himself be sentimental, what good he has ever done that merits such friendships.

During one of these moments of deep introspection, he explores this question in his head and thinks that maybe it's because they respect his ability to be independent. Maybe they respect how he can go his own way and pursue the things he wants. Normal people - well, that may not be the right term, people are hardly normal, just look at his immediate circle of friends. Maybe the average, non-difficult people who aren't his friends are normally bound by the expectations of society.

For Haru, as long as he has swimming, he has something to do, a purpose, something to give to the world. He's got something that no one can take away, and that thought gives him confidence in himself. People may choose to stay and they may choose to leave, but swimming will remain.

But whenever the temperature is low and it was cold in the house, and he was alone, he sometimes - just sometimes - while huddling for warmth under his blanket, feeling sleepy and honest, he sometimes thinks that that thought sounds really lonely.

More than lonely, it's also a thought that sounds kind of.

Scared.

\----

Then, during a night where an episode of heavy rainfall finally stopped and Makoto was at Haru's, they were out in the patio, looking up at a recently washed, clear, night sky, and they were waiting for the lights to come back on. The strong winds from earlier probably affected the electricity or something - Haru's not an electrician - and he forbade Makoto from going down the slippery steps in the dark.

The night sky is beautiful in Iwatobi. The night sky, so incredibly vast, makes him feel small when he looks up. Which is unusual, since the ocean is also incredibly vast, and he doesn't feel small when he swims in there. There's something about the vastness of the sky that makes you feel small in a way that earth-bound things do not.

He wonders how people in Tokyo manage to live years and years without seeing the night sky properly. Maybe that's why city people tend to focus on the little things that happen everyday, because they rarely see the night sky, and are rarely reminded of how small they are.

He shares this thought with Makoto, and Makoto agrees; maybe that's why city people are grumpy more often than not, since they can't see how insignificant their everyday annoyances are in the grand scheme of things.

Makoto and Haru continue talking quietly about the things that happened today, about practice, about random snippets of grand philosophical thoughts, and about nothing really. The luxury of youth affords them the ability to meander, wasting time for no other reason than they have a lot to waste, at least for that night.

He was feeling particularly sentimental, and the only person he allows to see his sentimental side is his closest, dearest friend.

"Hey Makoto."

He feels Makoto look over, and can almost hear the slight smile through the tilt in his voice. "Yes, Haru-chan?"

Both of them were illuminated by the light of single candle, and Haru felt sufficiently hidden by the dark to be honest with his words - he's not comfortable with being honest with his face.

"... Am I a bad friend?"

Makoto startles. "What makes you say that?"

Haru shrugs. "I feel like, I could, you know. Be more open with. My feelings. Or... do more." He's starting to feel awkward, "Never mind, forget it, it's stupid."

Makoto hums.

They continue sitting in the slight dark. Until:

"You know Haru, we all know you're trying your best."

Haru looks at Makoto.

"We know that you're not the best with people, but you're still there for us, even during the times that makes you uncomfortable. And when we need you the most, we know you'll be there. Always." Makoto chuckes, lightly. "More than anything, that's what we like about you." 

He shifts towards Haru.

"Just go at this at your own pace, Haru-chan. We know that whatever you're capable of giving, you give it to us."

They were quiet after that. And then, a tiny sniff.

"You guys spoil me too much."

Makoto chuckles again, softly. He raises his arm, rubs Haru's shoulder, and pulls him against his side.

 

"Maybe. But you make it easy to spoil you."

**Author's Note:**

> A tiny fic to go along with my favorite song of all time.


End file.
